happy three years to hmm that's interesting!
and what's next
Even though I always say autumn is my favorite season, and I don't think I'm lying, spring has a sneaky way of presenting me with milestones. Consistently, I seem to begin new projects—or routines that later reveal themselves to be projects—in or around March. I am, perhaps, at my most restless in March.1
This has historically been a good thing.
It was around March 2021 that I began posting my ridiculous little skits on TikTok, and March 2022 when I launched this newsletter. Three years ago! Between then and now, I've quit my corporate job, written hundreds of thousands of words, left New York for a while, read hundreds of books, started and abandoned several projects, failed in ways I frankly didn't even know a person could fail, and I've shown my work to so many of you, a process that has by necessity—via repetition and my fear of shame—forced me to improve. I now happily cringe at my first few dozen newsletters, and thank those of you who've been around from the beginning.
Here are a few popular newsletters from the past three years:
And here are a few that were less popular, but that I really loved writing:
I got scared of delving much deeper into the archives, but there's a lot there … More than I realized! It made me nervous.
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I've talked about my love of routines before, but what I appreciate even more is a practice. Something I can—and do—commit to. That's what keeping a newsletter has been for me, and it’s a significant part of why it's been so valuable and why I’ve kept at it.
Keeping a practice is a way to keep time. And showing up on people's inboxes approximately twice a week for the last three years has kept my time. Looking back, I can see my evolving style and approach to writing and choosing my subjects; the thoughtfulness of the responses I've received from readers; how I've learned to take myself more or less seriously as the matter required. It's a process that has required repeated tweaking and constant learning, which is exactly what I want from a consistent practice.
I'll be writing more about falling in love with the process of creating, as it's something I've been thinking more and more about. But the thing is, the process that carries you is the only thing you can really be certain of—more than how the end result will turn out, more than how it will be received, more than its lasting power. Without a deep appreciation for the process, unless you're very lucky, all you'll have left is a lot of doubt.
You do, by the way, still need luck. I was lucky so many people decided to follow me from my other platforms when I started to step away from video content and focus more on my writing. And I've been fortunate in the friends I've made via the newsletter, in reading words that have steadily improved my own. I know I complain at length about social media and the internet generally, but I really have made very good friends as a result of being a very online person—maybe because they’re the only ones who understand all of my references. Bless them.
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What's next for Hmm?
Getting better at coming up with pithy headlines, first of all. I swear I cry every time I have to write one. Being my own editor is a study in perpetual disappointment.
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